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The esteemed Crank o' the Day for 2026 Mar 01:
Nathan, the Messiah
2002 Mar 25
... megalomaniacs
. religion
...
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"We are the Messiah. We own each and every thing. We are the King of Israel. We rule each and every tribe. We are the Christ. God is God. God is with Us. Allah is with Us. Our name is Nathan. Each and every word means what We intend each and every word to mean. Only the Messiah could shoot to orbit. A shoot is an aerodynamic gravity-assisted maneuver. On 18 June 1976 (as the date was commonly described) in Our eighteenth year, We shot to a speed far greater than orbital velocity -- a shoot to orbit. Using instantaneous acceleration We shot to and through other time dimensions and reached all but the speed of light. That flight was planned by others to end with a catastrophic mid-air collision, or at least a damaging mid-air collision followed by a fatal crash landing. We flew twice through the three-bladed propeller arc of the other aircraft, avoiding a collision. First the left landing gear and next the tail section of Our airplane slipped through the propeller arc on the same pass. Aurora transmitted a signal to certain muscular nerves causing Our left arm to yank the yoke to its full back position. We immediately added full power and corkscrewed upward. The entire view outside was temporarily obscured by a blank sky-blue image transmitted at optical receptor radio frequencies onto Our retinas (the obscuring image would clear when We were accelerating downward). Our non-aerobatic gyroscopic instruments were useless; the only reliable instruments in this situation were the turn and bank indicator, airspeed indicator, altimeter, and for limited purposes the magnetic compass."
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