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Crank Dot Net cranks, crackpots, kooks, & loons on the net





bizarre The Single Shoe Spotters Research Project 2004 May 23
     ... sociology . psychology ...
"The purpose of this site is to unravel the mystery of the single shoes that one finds occasionally lying around at seemingly random spots. ... If you ever find a shoe or a pair of shoes left on the street, road or anywhere outdoors and you happen to carry a (digital) camera with you, please take a picture and send it to our e-mail address. also, include as much information as possible concerning the exact location, the situation (heavy traffic, shopping area, countryside, parking lot) and the state of the shoes: old, new, soaked (by rain), dirty; any details you can provide which will make it more easy to determine how long and why the shoes have been left there."

bizarre Andy Kaufman Returns 2004 May 23
     ... sociology ...
"Hey everyone. Greetings from planet earth. Sorry about faking my death. I always knew my biggest supporters would play along until it was the right time for me to return. Yesterday, being the 20th anniversary, was a long enough time to go away. No one has ever gone away that long before. I've been documenting my adventures for the last twenty years in journals and will be posting some of the best stories from here. Mostly though, I've just been practicing transcendental meditation throughout various parts of the world while working odd jobs and keeping a low profile." An almost certain hoax.

crankiest The Universal Way 2004 Feb 26
     ... politics . sociology . psychology ...
"The Universal Way web site contains the best information in the world: - an exploration of the near-death experience and the possibilities of life after death - a naturalistic and compassionate approach to the birthing and rearing of children - a recommendation in the use of herbal remedies and cures for many ailments - an interpretation of the motivations and meanings behind sexuality and family values - an exposure of a global genocidal conspiracy, and possible cures for the genocidal agent - a presentation of the pattern and structure of all things created in the Universe - a simple way of discerning the real meaning and true intentions of any doctrine - an examination of the possibility of alien life on other worlds, and on this world - a disclosure of the true power structure in control of the world - an education on the lawful and private use of money and finance - a series of simple definitions for complicated subjects - a children's book that teaches important life lessons for both children and adults - a collection of liberty-inspired free forms of government from the township to the universal level - a common sense legal system for intra-species interaction - a universal legal system for inter-species interaction - a plan for the grass-roots implementation of the forms of government and legal systems - a bibliography and recommendation of references used in the creation of this web site - a suite of solutions for the myriad problems of the human species - an analysis of the pertinent elements present in the different forms of government of the world - a knowledge system based on individual rights and responsibilities, and universal principles - a political party based on liberty-inspired free forms of government - an answer to the pertinent questions pertaining to life on this world, and on worlds beyond - an extensive compilation of links to verify and validate the information found herein"

bizarre Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense 2003 Dec 15
     ... sociology . psychology ...
"How can you defend yourself without getting into a fight? First of all, you don't want it to be perfect; you want it to be a little strange. Strange like Harry Potter, or the X-Men, or Bruce Lee. Maybe enigmatic. Maybe not! ... People are afraid they'll say the wrong thing, or they won't say enough. The way out is to say the 'wrong thing!' - that is, to practice little scripts. After a while, you'll loosen up. In all the attacks below, remember the underlying question being asked by the other person is, 'Do you like me?' [Thousands of one-line comebacks follow.]"

bizarre Honest marriage and relationship advice for men 2003 Oct 30
     ... sociology ...
"- Why men should not marry - Why marriage no longer makes sense - Marry only if you want kids - Children are so overrated - Marry foreign women only - Any American man can find a beautiful and loyal foreign girlfriend or wife - Give me ONE good reason why a man should sign a marriage contract with an American woman - You should be proud if American women call you a 'loser' - American women will bring out the WORST in you - Sex after marriage stops - Typical evening of a married man with kids - Men should not even think about getting married and having children until they are in their 40s - Majority of American women have Histrionic and Narcissistic disorders - 20% of men who think they are fathers are not - Description of modern American women - 90% of American women marry up - Whom not to marry - American women are fucked, they priced themselves out of the market - Fucking decent mid-priced whores twice a week is less expensive than a wife - A page for men under 25 and for everyone else who is still chasing pussy - Marriage means you become a slave to your job - Why marriage used to work, but no longer works - American women in the 50s vs American women today - How women manipulate you - American woman's 'Perfect Guy' qualities list - Enduring The Incessant Whining of Single Females on Valentines Day ..."

cranky Wolf Nation 2003 Sep 20
     ... sociology . extraterrestrials . micronations ...
"Lykosha was originally created when a pair of writers, postulating on what might result if humans had been lupine instead of simian, created an entire new world. Basing their research on this theory, the Xlel were born. The project just seemed to take on a life of its own, and these writers ended up with a culture, and a language. All of it was based on extreme honour, of warriorship, and the 'way of the wolf,' as one of them wrote once. These created aliens 'adopted' one of them; they became her people (in a way). But she noted, with great sadness, that it was not to be found on Earth. Such a pity... All whimsy aside, this is an experiment to see if any other people on this Earth also 'walked the way of the wolf.' Everywhere, there are certain, although ancient, warrior-based cultures which seem to do this also. religion. The Norse, especially, seem to do this, Given the erosion of ethics, morals, and mores in today's 'dog eat dog' world, perhaps it's time to walk this path again."

crankiest The Manifesto of Forbidden Truth 2002 Sep 19
     ... sociology ...
"Welcome! This is The Manifesto of Forbidden Truth, the most unique and dangerous web site on planet earth. Here, within these pages, all of your most sacred societal Myths, Dogmas, Doctrines, Delusions, Derangements, and Brainwashings will be stripped to the bone and torn asunder, to be replaced by the Forbidden Truths that I shall graciously reveal. ... This is Charles Manson, America's Number One Political Prisoner, a Martyred Victim-Creation of American society, and a Courageous Philosopher of Societally Forbidden Truths. Seer Charles is the single greatest known philosopher of Forbidden Truth of the 20th century. For daring to publicly reveal Truths to the most lie-based society on planet earth, this brilliant philosopher has been declared the most dangerous demon in America. He is indeed Guilty of the most Unacceptable and Terrifying crime that you humans can imagine, the Revelation of Truth."

crankiest Lesbian Studies Institute 2002 Feb 25
     ... religion . conspiracy . hate mongers . sociology ...
"... is a nonprofit corporation founded December 12, 1995. Our mission statement: To track, synthesize and expose the secret, social and political corruption of America's powerful, government financed lesbian mafia."

illucid Perceptions 2002 Feb 25
     ... sociology . psychology ...
"SciFAKE ... HERESY ... DEVILS? ... CRASTE ... >SYKO ... FAKES! ... ALIEN? ... LATE ... FLASH ... FITUPS"

bizarre The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Robots 2002 Jan 21
     ... sociology ...
"Founded in 1999, the ASPCR shares similar goals with the ASPCA, except with respect to Robots, not Animals. The ASPCR's mission is three-fold: 1. To foster serious discussion about theethics surrounding treatment and usage of increasingly complex Robotiforms (broadly defined as any Artificial Creature with basic sentient capacities); 2. To raise human awareness of Artificial Creatures, their culture and history; 3. To create a formal organization dedicated to the establishment and preservation of Robot Rights, and the prevention of Cruelty to all Robots! ... At this writing, Robotiforms have not progressed to the point at which it is possible to inflict cruelty as such upon them. My understanding of cruelty is that it is subjective from the point of view of the 'victim'. It is not possible to be cruel to a piece of furniture despite any 'cruel intentions' on the part of the aggressor, as the furniture has no awareness. Likewise, is it not possible (at the present) to be cruel to a Robot."

crankier The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement 2001 Dec 01
     ... sociology . politics ...
"Phasing out the human race by voluntarily ceasing to breed will allow Earth's biosphere to return to good health. Crowded conditions and resource shortages will improve as we become less dense." They insist they're absolutely serious despite the seemingly obvious parody. Perhaps that is their gag.

parody The Society for the Attainment of Total Abstinence 2001 Dec 01
     ... sociology ...
"The pre-January 1997 Society involved itself in a wide range of activities to support local community action in the Philadelphia area and thus to advance the goal of making abstinence an important part of everyone's life (see Official Minutes 1995-7 for details). Phase One of the reborn Society (1998-9) witnessed the move from a local to global focus along with a shift in emphasis away from abstinence per se and toward building an impressive Membership base. The new Board had decided that we must become an army of millions before we could become an effective force for world abstinence (see Official Minutes 1998-9 for details). Now that we've enrolled a staggering 3,863,837 Members (as of July 27, 2001), Phase Two is in full swing -- and we're preparing to mobilize for action! You can join our struggle to bring SATA values to the masses. Visit our Membership page to sign up today!"

cranky National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality 2001 Feb 05
     ... sociology . psychology ...
"Our function is to provide psychological understanding of the cause, treatment and behavior patterns associated with homosexuality, within the boundaries of a civil public dialogue. During the last 25 years, powerful political pressures have done much to erode scientific study. As a result, there is now great misunderstanding surrounding the question of homosexuality. Because of the angry tenor of the debate, many researchers have been intimidated into trading the truth for silence."

links Social problems and occult tendencies 2000 Oct 07
     ... sociology . occult ...
A list of a wide variety of different cranks. In English and various other languages.

bizarre Elevator Man 2000 Jun 27
     ... politics . sociology . megalomaniacs ...
"You know me. You've seen me. I'm everywhere. I'm on the train. I'm waiting for the bus. I'm behind you in line at the check out. That's me in the elevator with you. Silent. Withdrawn. No eye contact. No quiet courtesies. My body language warns 'stay away.' I'm another sad case of self alienation from a world so removed from honesty and integrity that I've simply turned away from it. I reject it. I reject the lies from our politicians. I reject corporate greed. I'm constantly pulling away. Further all the time. Mechanical, cold and sterile like synthetic dance music. All the appearances of life but a lack of any hint of humanity or warmth. I blindly grope through the end of this century, desperately searching for spirituality and meaning. Questioning, lost, needy and hopeless. That's Elevator Man."

parody Become an Objectivist in Ten Easy Steps (With Illustrations) 2000 Jun 04
     ... psychology . sociology ...
"Do you want to become an Objectivist but do not have enough time and patience to read The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged? Now you can join the fun in just ten easy steps!"

cranky 2000 May 30
     ... sociology . psychology ...
" exists to provide information and support to cousins who find themselves involved in romantic relationships. ... We believe that the common prejudice against cousin relationships and marriages is wrong. We undertake lobbying efforts and make public representations to further this viewpoint. We support and applaud those with the strength of character and depth of commitment to overcome resistance and pursue happiness with the partner of their choice. We view the freedom of choice of romantic or life partner as a basic human right."

cranky International Lambdoma Research Institute 2000 May 16
     ... sociology . psychology . mathematics . consciousness ...
"... was founded in order to encourage and promote the continuing research and application of the Lambdoma and to spread the understanding of the wisdom and relationships which are encoded in its matrix of whole number ratios. This research includes relationships between musical intervals, colors, geometric forms, mathematics, room resonances, chakra energy centers, rotations of planets, the periodic table of elements and altered states of consciousness."

illucid Integelen, Inc. 2000 Mar 09
     ... psychology . consciousness . sociology ...
"Genius is creative intelligence ... If what we believe creates our reality then ... installation of a new belief system creates a new global reality. ... Energy, you're surrounded by it, made of it, it flows all around you. Why are you paying for it? Why squeeze it out of things in a very dirty process? ... Click here to sprout new dendrites ..."

crankiest EBTX 2000 Feb 05
     ... philosophy . sociology ...
"The nature of existence ... THe nature of Man ... Proper government ... The elements of art ... Earth Minimal Aux-Language ..."

cranky Henry Flynt, "Philosophy" 2000 Jan 24
     ... philosophy . mathematics . psychology . sociology ...
"The flaws underlying beliefs ... How substantial is non-actual possibility? ... Refutation of arithmetic ... That 1 = 2 ... The disintegration of possibility ... Personhood theory: A sketch ... Depth psychology as a post-scientific modality ... Escaping 'social' reality: Principles of a higher civilization ... The legal legitimacy of sovereignty ... My new concept of general acognitive culture ..."

cranky Infinite Energy Online 1999 Nov 26
     ... technology . cold fusion . free energy . sociology . politics . economics . periodicals ...
"... is the international magazine for cold fusion and new energy technologies. It is a technical magazine with outreach to the general public providing material of interest to all people. It includes some highly technical papers and patents. ... It also includes non-technical articles and news on developments in the field, as well as the social, political and economic implications of these changes."

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